In which I talk in mock-Shakespeare for awhile, just because I feel like it.

Act 1: (Enter the Author, wringing her hands against her lavender voile breast.)

Forsooth, I am sad, for I have lost my iPod Nano. My trusty little blue 2G that has been my companion for lo these many days of toil, lightening the burthen of feeding data into the most unkindest of machines. Without it, my mind is bleak as a desert sun, a plain arid and tempest-toss’d; in vain have I searched for an oasis. (Seriously. When you find yourself trying to remember the names of saltwater taffy flavours because you think ‘that’d make a really cool LJ entry!” you know your dependence on modern entertainment media is terminal.)

Act 2:

But soft! What wandering, wavering light is this that shines through my Franz Ferdinand-less gloom? ‘Tis Shoemom, waving the card provided by men of finance for just such curing of melancholy – foolish mortals are they, who allow men to satisfy their fondest longings on their account! Prithee, however, Shoemom has seen writ plain my torment, the exquisite pain of deprivation and want (also, the pain in her butt caused by my non-stop attempts to whine in Olde Englishe). I must hie me away to the shoppe where electronic delights flow into mine ears as the cinnamon syrup flows onto a Cinnabun!

Act 3:

…OK, getting bored now. Point of the exercise is that I’m now sitting here gazing fondly at a new silver Nano 3G. I didn’t think I’d be this impressed with the new models, ‘specially as I’ve got not much use for video capability. There’s gotta be something to be  said for taking a device already perfectly designed for pointless distraction and shamelessly ‘upgrading’ to add even more pointless distraction. Ooh…pretty album covers! Number of songs on the Playlists menu! Cute pink leather case…

I always feel vaguely dweeby when interacting with Apple tech – like I’m stuck in a perpetual Mr. Dressup episode (“OK, kiddies, see the playlist? Now we’re going to draw a picture of you changing the song…”)  – but am too chicken to saddle myself with anything more complex. Pointless distraction should not come with a manual of more than ten pages, this is my new motto.

Headphones, on the other hand, are a problem. My ears are small and very narrow, not good candidates at all for the signature iPhones. I had finally found the perfect pair of seriously cool JVC marshmallow-foam earbuds, now vanished into the ether along with the 2G itself – unless my theory of the disappearance is correct, and the cat is now sneaking off into one of those corners only cats know, the better to groove to Rockin’ Robin or something. (Geddit? Cats, robin…oh, fine then.)
Anyway, upon stuffing my ears with the new iPhones this evening, I noticed a definite unease in re: the sound quality. [Sigh] Onto the list the JVC buds go…along with the new backup hard drive, and the new fall slacks, and the new handbag, and that Mexx blouse I fell hopelessly in love with on the way home from work this afternoon, and…geez, I’m exhausting myself just imagining the whining required. Maybe I better go distract myself with that video capability after all. Or, wait, Cinnabuns…mmmmm….


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kalquessa
    Aug 13, 2008 @ 14:59:20

    *giggles* My firnedslist was vastly improved by this post.

  2. anonymous
    Aug 13, 2008 @ 21:29:17

    Indeed, maiden-fair, t’was able put
    this notion of Ipod rapture
    And yet give glory thee ever more
    to the hand held distraction
    and all other pain’s in butt.

    (Ok, this is getting out of hand…)


  3. shoebox2
    Aug 13, 2008 @ 22:52:57

    [makes grand, sweeping bow] Thank you! 🙂

  4. shoebox2
    Aug 13, 2008 @ 22:53:46

    Hey, you want to keep going, be my guest. I’ll go make some popcorn and be right back.

    [still working on your latest email, BTW.)

  5. anonymous
    Aug 13, 2008 @ 23:01:06

    Remember, relax… about replies! 😉

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